that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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