Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
