Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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