Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
