I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
