Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
