Having a random hookup so left but love u
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
