but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
