Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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