zippers are such a cool invention
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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