i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize