nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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