I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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