he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
