i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
