Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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