I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
