I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
