I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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