Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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