apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize