I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
