The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Need sex. Gaining weight.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
