it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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