Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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