how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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