positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
