walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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