just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize