Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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