Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
