Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize