6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
