When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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