I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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