Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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