He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
