wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
