The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
