So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
