my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He felt like a one man threesome
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
