Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
