yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
