would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
