Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.

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(858): View more from California

my life trainwreck boards at 9:30

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(317): View more from Indiana

im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

i always knew you were classy

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(206): View more from Washington

I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house

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