you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
