So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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