he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
