My girlfriend figured out who you are.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
