he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it glows. i had to have it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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