I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize