You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
