Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You need a sexual gate keeper
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
