my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
