It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i believe in u and ur pee
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
