So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
