I looked at my own cervix.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
