i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
