Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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