i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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